Today's post is brought to you by Penny Antell.
I cannot think of a single more important topic to discuss than relationship building in regards to coaching. Without establishing a relationship, all attempts at improving practice will be unstable: accepted with a tentative ear.
As I begin to write about building relationships, I envision many components. First I picture a listener. Coaches MUST be good listeners. They need to be present with the person they’re working with listening not only to the language that is being shared, but to what is beneath the language. Coaches are always listening to hear the unstated message, the strengths, belief systems, and fears of the person speaking. Listening to hear what matters most, what goals the person has and what is being left unstated? Listening attentively honors the speaker making them aware you’re truly interested in what they have to say and what is occurring in their lives and classrooms.
Including our own interpretations of another person’s words is human nature. Listening carefully and completely is just a first step. To assure understanding it is helpful for the coach to reflect upon what is shared in conversation. By stating this back to the speaker one can ensure assumptions have not been made. This is not done as parroting, but as an opportunity to indeed discover that what is stated is understood. Is it a duck or is it a rabbit? Find out – rephrase and/or ask for clarification. Through this, the coach will more clearly define areas where s/he can impact the instruction within the teacher’s classroom and impact student learning.
Approaching the coaching setting with an extended hand either physically or virtually encourages a relationship through the ease of workload and the possibility of increased positive outcomes within the job setting. Assuring teachers that the coach is present to support classroom practice and to help improve student performance provides a sense of ease and assurance as well as tension for some. To allow for the growth of a positive relationship, discovering areas the teacher is comfortable discussing and beginning to create action plans around these will allow for a foot into the door where the literacy coach is able to prove their ability to create shift and desirable outcomes.
TIME
While we find ourselves rushing from one setting to another throughout our day, it is essential we take the time necessary to be in the moment with others. Stop and listen. Really listen. Show the speaker you’re truly interested in what is being said and you’re there to help. Rushing off, appearing too busy, or uninterested, will break down any relationship that has been started and shred opportunities to make a difference in the education of the students within the classroom and building. There is nothing as important at the trust that is built between the coach and coachee.
INTEGRITY
As a coach, employee, and person in general – maintain your integrity. Without your integrity well established and known, you will not be able to create the change desired as trust will be lost. Be kind, caring, and honest in all your actions. Maintain confidentiality.
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