Productive Disequilibrium

Beside my teammates, I participated Beyond Diversity I sponsored by The Network. Beyond Diversity I is a two-day immersive experience in which participants experiment with tools for having "courageous conversations" about the impact of race on student learning.

Applying the learning from Beyond Diversity I is part of my larger goal of developing an understanding of and applying culturally sustaining practice. This journey has pushed my thinking in ways I never anticipated. I continue to look carefully at myself and my actions and words. I hear new things in what my colleagues are saying that, frankly, terrify me. I question whether "the system" - both schools and the larger society they fit within - will address equity issues quickly enough. 

Basically, I quickly spiral from feeling energized about this work and feeling a great sense of urgency to feeling powerless and overwhelmed. Beyond Diversity I gave me words to talk about this spiraling - I'm working through an adaptive change process and moving in and out of my zone of productive disequilibrium.

Image taken from Kansas Leadership Center Field Guide

We improve through both technical and adaptive change. Technical change asks us to change our practice - what we do. Adaptive change ask us to think about our fundamental beliefs and values as individuals, groups, and organizations. 

While engaged in each type of change, individuals experience some level of disequilibrium, and this disequilibrium is productive as long as it remains within a certain zone - the zone of productive disequilibrium. Below this zone, individuals might not feel a sense of urgency about change or be motivated to participate in change. Above this zone, individuals might feel too stressed or at risk to participate fully in change.

An extended time within the productive zone of disequilibrium is an expected part of adaptive change. It explains my fluctuating stress and emotional levels in my journey to be culturally responsive.

I'm noticing that I'm not at my best when I'm at the top of my zone of productive disequilibrium. It becomes increasingly difficult for me to really think before I speak or act. I'm likely to speak or act from a place of emotion rather than logic. I feel powerless. I'm critical of myself and my colleagues. To keep engaging in this work, I need to better monitor myself. I need to watch myself and my emotions to understand when I'm close to my disequilibrium limits.

However, this also has implications for me as a facilitator and a coach. Each person's productive zone of disequilibrium is different. I need to be mindful of others' equilibrium and anticipate and react to it in order to fully engage my colleagues.