Looking Inward

Lisa Weiss contributed this post. Click here to read more of Lisa's thinking.

Holding difficult conversations has positioned me to develop and recognize some insights about myself, so I thought I’d share some of the beliefs I have developed, and lessons learned as a result having tough conversations as they are needed.

Lesson One: I’m willing to have the courageous conversations because it’s about the kids; I’m primarily an advocate for our learners. I’ve noticed that as I prepare for difficult conversations, I am driven by the outcomes for students. If I do not speak up, what does that mean for these students? Next year’s students? Are we intentionally working students toward becoming independent and strategic readers, writers, listeners, critical viewers, thinkers, speakers? If not, I have to have the necessary conversations to reframe the instruction on behalf of our students.

Lesson Two: When I remain silent as a coach, I am “giving permission” for things to happen that 1) I do not believe in and/or 2) my district does not condone. I’ve learned that I’d rather have the uncomfortable conversations, knowing that I am having them for the sake of children, and promoting the values and missions of my district, rather than remaining silent and being robbed of my sleep when all of my personalities weigh in on how I am not doing what I know is right! There is cost involved when we ignore our convictions.

Lesson Three: In some sense this should be a no-brainer, but I have coached in situations where there was a lack of understanding regarding how aligned I was to the literacy vision, mission, and philosophy of the district. It is important for me to know that the teachers I work with have an understanding that I share the literacy vision, mission, and philosophy of the district. (I have also learned that when I am in a position where I do not align, I will need to leave. I’ve learned that my values are so critical, that I will not work in a situation where I have to disregard what I know is best for teachers and students.)

Having my staff know who and how I am, where I stand on literacy instruction, and what will serve our students best is crucial for me to feel as though I am doing my job, and staying true to my (research-based) beliefs about literacy instruction. I think, as a coach, that all my colleagues should know how I think (and gradually learn about the research that has me approach my values with such conviction). We may disagree, but I’d rather have both of us know exactly where we stand and how we think, so we can get to the urgent business of student learning. Being transparent about my beliefs and the research that backs me, is just as important as me knowing the beliefs and research that backs my teachers. Understanding and honesty are key in my coaching relationships.

Lesson Four: I can say what needs to be said, but I can say it in a kind way. I think about how’d I’d want my boss to approach me if she needed to have a difficult conversation with me. It’s my perpetual thinking that there is no reason for me not to be kind. I'm not going to reach my end result  if I am not careful with my words, and as we all know, I could damage my reputation as a coach quickly if I handle a situation poorly--word spreads fast. But on the flip side, word also spreads quickly when teachers respect you, and know that you genuinely care about them and their students. I don’t know about you, but that’s  the kind of gossip I’d like to be out and about in my building, especially when I know that I am having difficult with conversations along the way!

It’s interesting to look back and consider the lessons I’ve learned, to analyze the situations that developed the convictions I hold. I’m certain there are many more take-aways I could add to this list, but since my learning is ongoing, and I am now aware of this list, I can keep better track of my learning as I move forward...