On Fridays, I Cry

Today's post is brought to you by Andrea Reichenberger.

While gathering the last of the materials I needed for today’s staff development, I bumped into an acquaintance who does consulting work for our district.  Tammy* is a change agent/coach and after having only spoken to her on a few occasions, I fell in love with her. She is an expert on research based instructional practices and  has worked with some of the best.  Tammy has even co-authored a book about planning, teaching, and assessment practices that support effective learning and help close achievement gaps

After the usual pleasantries, Tammy and I chatted about coaching and how difficult it is, for her especially, being an outsider. Developing relationships is at the core of our role as coaches. It also requires a thick skin, because we coach for change--and change is messy and uncomfortable. She admitted that the instructional adjustments we need really can't happen until a coach is in the classroom continuing to help guide the process. Tammy was hired that day not only to help deliver the message that change is imminent, but also to help one group of teachers formulate their thinking about instruction.  Unfortunately, it was not a pleasant experience for her or for the group of teachers, but she did get them to where they needed to be.

What really struck me during our conversation was when Tammy said, “On Fridays, I cry.”  She has worked as a coach in other schools for long stretches of time and has been through it all.  She gets it.  It sounds like a weird thing to say, but it’s true.  Now, I’m not much of a crier, I choose red wine instead, but I can relate.  I spend the majority of my time not only listening, but also thinking about what I am saying, how I say it, the tone I use when I ask questions, and what messages my body language may be sending.  At the same time, I am reading the body language of others, offering ideas and suggestions, and gently guiding teachers to find the answers they are looking for within themselves.  There is no other way to say it--it’s exhausting.  By Friday, I am tapped out, and if I was a crier, I probably would--as a release.  But, as coaches, we need to forge ahead in order to create and build on those relationships to make change happen.

Luck Be (For This) Lady…

I have worked in my district for 15 years, so lucky for me, I had some name recognition when I began coaching at the high school.  Relationships with colleagues who knew me or were at least acquainted with me were quicker to develop and build upon.  I was invited into classrooms and began working with teachers right away. Since coaching was my new role--and new to the building--my principal was instrumental in helping me get buy-in from the staff.  He provided the time for me to explain my role at a staff meeting and there I offered a menu of suggestions of how teachers could utilize me.  I also had the teachers fill out an exit slip listing one service they could use from me.  That is where I began.

As Dad Used to Say, “Always Be Aware of Your Surroundings”

My dad was a police officer and detective for thirty-three years and even though he has since passed, his wise words are still with me.  Of course, he used this phrase in a different context, but it is applicable here.  Because I am in and out of classrooms having discussions with teachers about their instruction (which is a pretty darn personal topic because, let’s face it, we are talking about a person’s livelihood here), and then in and out of the principal's office, teacher’s notice.  When having conversations about instruction, I speak in generalities or I base the conversation on data I have collected and that data is always reported out as a whole. I make every effort to send a clear message:  I am not an administrator.  I am still a teacher.  However, it is imperative that I am communicating with administrators to ensure we are delivering the same message and are on the same page.  As a teacher, I am well aware that someone is always watching.  In order to maintain relationships and build trust, teachers need to see that I am willing to work just as hard as they are and sometimes--even a little harder.

Don't water the rocks, because rocks don’t grow (Phrase stolen from my man, Doug Fisher)

It is human nature for people to vent and complain and, yes, I hear it at times.  Some of it is personally directed at me so, working in this role definitely requires a thick skin. I like the phrase:  it’s not personal--it’s business, but our business is kids and it is our personal responsibility to help them achieve. I apologize for the cliche, but there is always a choice, they can be a part of the solution or they can be a part of the problem.  Relationships with "the rocks" can still be established, but they don't move, so it is best to focus your energy on those who want it.  If you, as the coach, have the personality and the mindset, building relationships is easy, but keeping them positive, while simultaneously providing professional development with follow through to implementation is the tricky part.  It isn't my job to police or to evaluate my peers. Providing the information, the data, the tools, the training, and the guidance for teachers to improve their instruction so our students are successful---that’s my job--and it is totally worth it--rocks and all.

*Name has been changed